Rani’s Thoughts & Reflections

I work in an Int’l kindergarten school, where we are encouraged to get the kids in tune with the nature, and where learn through play format is applied. It is no doubt the best way to learn, and it’s been an eye-opener for me personally too.

Yet, there is something that terribly annoys me, when we use food to get creative with art. Using pasta to make necklaces, using corn starch to make goop, making salt dough out of flour them baking then and painting on it, using lentils/rice/corn to create a beautiful looking artwork made by children - our future!

No doubt that its a great learning experience and it looks fabulous seeing what the kids create out of it,    but its just disgusting to know that there are millions of children out there, who don’t even have toys to play with, let alone food! And millions more out there, who don’t even know if they will make it through the next meal, some would consider themselves lucky enough to get grain full of rice to survive!

I come from a background where we were taught not to waste food, “finish everything up on your plate”, to be thankful for the meal we’re having. Food was considered sacred and meant to be respected not wasted!

This kind of wastage is totally outrageous in my eyes, it’s no less than a crime to just let these kids enjoy life’s necessities as a form of art in luxury, when the same could be used to save some lives!

How will these kid learn to respect food, and realize it’s one of life’s most important necessity not a luxury that we can afford to play around with it!

The only part where I would agree to use food to play, would be to make the homemade playdough for kids to play with because its chemical free and it definitely does help to stimulate them in different ways, it can be stored upto 2 weeks easily and it’s safe and definitely enjoyable.

I’d be interested to get some comments on this……. please feel free to drop in a line or so.

The reason the title says “someone” and not just a “man’s” heart is because we women too enjoying having mouth watering delicacies! Whether or not it’s home cooked by our dream guy…….. what matters is he can make the dining experience worth it.

A recent discussion with some friends (just after valentine’s day) got me thinking about this topic and made me blog it.

When new in dating most couples opt for an Italian restaurant to dine in, I’m sure the wine helps to ease them out ! Yet, it’s not just about the wine but the whole experience, mainly the food is NOT messy - you could have your pastas without worrying about making a mess and it’s usually PENNE! not spaghetti , because it’s much easier to work your way through with that other than the wriggly spaghetti!

Can you imagine going on a date for the 1st time and ordering a burger? Or going for Chinese/Japanese/Korean - anything where you would need to use your chopsticks skills! If it’s someone like me who tends to be a ‘dropper’ (yes, I tend to drop things around my table while talking because of the hand gestures used while speaking!) it would be even more embarassing than the usual fork dropping on the floor!

 The theory goes, the more comfortable you get with your partner, the more you experiment with your food! And the day you realize, it doesn’t matter how the opposite person sees the mess you made while eating your burger or how the damn beancurd just wouldn’t get a grib by your chopsticks and you can laugh about it - that’s when you know you are very comfortable with that person!

Caution - Don’t ever try cooking with your partner ! You never make it through dinner

Bon Appetite everyone!!

“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet.”  ~ William Shakespeare 

What’s in a name? A lot I would say,  especially for us indians we tend to keep meaningful names, most of our parents were named after the Hindu Gods so they would have the same virtues like them as what our grandparents imagined I’m guessing and also for the fact that they would be remembering God everytime they took their child’s name. (Yes, most of the Indians always have to connect everything on this planet to the almighty - more on that later).

Nowadays they name their children after their favourite movie star or the characters’ name of their favourite movie star - How many Simrans do you know after the Hit movie DDLJ ? Every third Indian baby girl or newly wedded bride is called “Simran”.  Besides having a good meaning, it also happens to be Kajol’s name in DDLJ.

Well as for my name, It was a major part in getting me my job years back. Sounds confusing? It’s really very simple, this is what had happened……..

It was the usual for any prospective candidate going for an Interview, the nervousness, the anxiety until the Interview is done and over with - the usual drift we all have been through at some points in our lives.

The interview was for the post of a Kindergarten teacher and we went through the usual drill of questions - the strengths, the weaknessess etc

Then I was asked “Why should we hire you?” and I replied back saying “everybody loves young children, but not everyone is good with them, I’m good with them and that’s why I should be given this opportunity” and she just smiles back but was kinda waiting for more and I was absolutely lost and nervous and just blabbered ……”Also, your schools’ name is Sunshine Kindergarten  and my name is Rashmi (that made her sit up not exactly sure where I was getting at?) Rashmi means the first rays of the Sun, may be I’m meant to be here ” and I just gave a little laugh after that being me.

I did get a call back from them after 2 days and they did hire me! Then came the induction day where everybody had to introduce themselves and say a little something about themselves etc it was in this big auditorium where all the teachers from all the branches of the same kindergarten came together and met for the 1st time… When it was my turn to speak, my principal asked me to tell them the interview incident and the meaning of my name.

That’s when I realized how important the impact of my name had been during my interview!
 

Everything in life has become “Insant” - Instant tea, Instant coffee, Instant Noodles, Instant mail (E-Mail) who would have thought mails across the world would have reached in seconds……”Insantly”!! Nowadays even LOVE is Instant and as instantly is the break up as well, via SMS sometimes…..how sad really!

What really annoys me is that people don’t seem to have that heart-to-heart communication with each other anymore, I, being the outspoken sort who just talks straight from the heart don’t seem to have a problem communicating because I say out what comes to my mind “Instantly”. However, people seem to have forgotten how to express themselves, especially when it comes to confrontation and stuff.

The meaning of quality time and quality conversations has lost its place in our lives these days. Given the up-to-date technology available with blackberry and wi-fi’s on the mobiles - people are constantly checking those god damn emails even while having dinners!

It’s really annoying having to converse with someone whose mind is elsewhere, or while you are trying to make a point across, the opposite person is engaged  with an email which I am sure could be sent or read even after a while. Where are the etiquettes lost? Back in our days (yes I sound like a grandma) ok back to the point, so back in the days while we were growing up, our parents handled their work and commitments equally well and gave us quality time, why can’t it be done the same way now too? Technology should be there to help us, ease us of the difficulties we had in the past, not multiply it by threefolds and take away something as precious as “TIME” from our loved ones.

Robin Sharma has mentioned in his book “The Greatness Guide” - You don’t have to run for the phone every time it rings……ok I do agree mobile phones have become an essential part of our lifestyles now, yet we don’t have to run for it like headless chickens everytime it rings!

How many times have you been in a situation where you are having a ‘moment’ and suddenly the bloody phone rings and the ‘moment’ is gone, or when you are in a deep conversation and it breaks because of an unwanted call?

The key to a great relationship is open communication and that doesn’t come ‘instantly’, it has to be worked on over time.

           As mentioned previously in my post “Me, Myself & I”  that I work in a kindergarten, it’s great because working with young children keeps you on your toes all day! I love coming home and sharing the day’s happenings with my husband at the end of the day! Here’s something I’d like to share with you all :-

It was a typical day at school - the routine which starts with welcoming the children, settling them in the class and getting them engrossed in an activity of their choice, this usually is called the ‘free play’where the child is free to choose whichever activities that are prepared for them that day. Then we sort of have a time-table to follow which includes the snack time, outdoor play, and carpet time for a story, basically a normal day spent at playschool.

So during the ‘free play’ time, one child comes up to me and says “Teacher, I want to have my snack NOW!” Well, it wasn’t time for snack as yet (10 minutes after school started), I just said to him ”oooh it’s not yet time for snack luv”, and kids being kids, he asked “WHY?” Now, if you’ve been around 3 year olds, you’d exactly know how it is!! I just told him that “The hand on the clock is not yet pointing at half past” which was followed by another “BUT WHY, I want to have my snack NOWWWWW”. Well then I just tried distracting him by getting him engaged in another activity, I asked him to go play in the construction corner and build something for me and he did!!

 He comes back after 5 mins and points something at me and pretends to shoot! daa daa daa! Yes! He comes back building a gun out of those lego blocks. I just laughed and said “I know I stopped you from having your snack, that doesn’t mean you shoot around with your gun!” Then I did what I had to do and said “We don’t play with guns and swords at school”. By then it was time for “snack” and was I relieved!

While at that moment I cracked up (I crack up all the time), I also found it quite alarming, maybe I am over reacting to a child’s play yet it does concern me that this is ‘our’ future.

Let’s hope that parents and teachers alike tackle this kind of ‘violent’ play with utmost care.  

Well here’s another book that’s being made into a movie. After watching “The Kite Runner”, I am wondering how will this movie shape up once its made?

The book is quite long and precise with its details from Australia to Bombay (back then, now it’s Mumbai) and then to Afghanistan, again back to Bombay, will they be able to capture and recreate the same magic as the author did in the book? I bet not, any author worth their salt would agree with me that a movie can never justify the book.

Anyway, I would also like to state that unfortunately nowadays not many people read as often as before, and these movies that are based on books give a chance to a larger audience out there to experience the same, as those people won’t go out of their way to read a whole page let alone a whole book!

As for the rest of us, we can just sit back and enjoy the best of both worlds - the book and the movie!

Talking about weddings has to be the #1 favourite past time of Indian people, as someone I met recently said over dinner “when Indians are not getting married, they talk about others getting married, if they aren’t talking about others, they are busy rehearsing for other people’s wedding occasions” I found that hilarious and it was somewhat true.

Especially with the Indian (Sindhi) community in HK and  South East Asia, I sometimes wonder how do some people manage to attend each and every wedding which happens to be in some exotic location around Asia. How do they get so many days off from work???

If you’ve ever attended an Indian wedding, you’d know that the festive goes on for a whole week! That’s why I feel that the phrase “The Big Fat Indian Wedding” would be perfect for this post because every wedding is handled with the pride that it HAS to be THE wedding people will remember for days to come. They don’t think they are any less than Abhishek Bachchan and Aishwairya Rai themselves - they expect the same kind of reception from people. O well you only get married once and if its an Indian wedding and what goes into it - trust me you wouldn’t wanna go through all of that again and that’s probably why the reason the divorce rate comparatively is lower amongst the Indians

Well with all that said and done, Indian weddings are fun (and tiring) no doubt about that! The colourful deco - each different from the other for ALL the occasions, the feast- again from Indian to Italian they don’t want to miss out anything!The glamourous outfits of the bride and the groom and their parents and their relatives, their relative’s relative ……ya well it’s not less than any Indian Designer fashion show, ooooh and did I mention the dazzling bling bling jewellery, the more the better (They haven’t heard of the phrase “Less is more”)

An Indian wedding is not just a wedding, it’s a celebration of two families joining together not just the couple becoming one. You’ll have your relatives whom you probably didn’t even know existed until the time your parents were making a list of inviting the who’s who of their respective towns and the world over. All of a sudden you meet your 798th relative from  across the world whom you had never ever heard of until your wedding and the next thing you’ll probably be attending their wedding after a few months cuz they hooked up with one of those 1000’s invitees at your wedding.

Maybe I’ve been a little too harsh upto now because no matter what, an Indian wedding is a sight to see and is always fun no matter how much we crib about the whole thing. I must also add that it’s not an easy task arranging everything even for the most simplest Indian wedding. The stress that both the sides go through and the anxiety until the wedding is over, so let’s just give it to them for putting up with it and yet have their 400 watt smile on their faces all night long.

 Here’s a little glimpse of the Indian wedding festivities that usually take place :

  It starts with an Engagement Ceremony - The Bride and Groom exchange rings on this day. (Actually they’ve probably had a small ceremony before the actual ceremony - oh its complicated lets just get on with it)

                  Then usually they have a Mehndi Ceremony - They adorn The Bride with Henna patterns on her hands and feet and sometimes even with flowers in some customs.       

 The mehndi ceremony usually is followed by a Sangeet Ceremony - This usually is the highlight of the wedding occasions, this is where friends and relatives prepare some skit or dances especially for the couple and just about everyone joins in with the celebration with dancing and wining and dining all night long.

Then they have a religious ceremony “Haldi”  - every community has its own  ceremony and customs to follow.

Finally, comes the day of the actual WEDDING - this again is different according to different communities customs.

Phew! well as I mentioned this was just ‘a glimpse’ of what an Indian wedding is all about, the more bigger the wedding, the more reasons of celebrations, they will just throw in a couple of nights more to celebrate with theme parties and dinners.

That’s why I am amazed at some people who have the time to attend so many weddings that take place. An Indian wedding is never a family affair, its a whole town’s affair and sometimes even two different towns

The Indian wedding is definitely an experience of its own, it’s got glitz, glamour, music, masti (fun) and even emotions and drama with the whole bidaai rhona dhona and of course the 400 watt smiles from everybody!

P.S.          We’ve got some Hindi films totally dedicated to the experience of ” The Indian Wedding” - Hum Aapke hain Kaun, and if you’d like you could even read Kavita Daswani’s “For Matrimonial Purposes” which decidated the whole novel to the Indian wedding and the search for the ”perfect man”.  

When I first got the book “The Kite Runner”, I had just kept it on my bookshelf to read as and when I would find the time, for a year it stayed there even after numerous requests from someone who loves reading as much as I do, then finally my dear friend - yes the same dear friend who says “Namaste” , asked me to read it, well then I just kept thinking 2 people can’t be wrong and neither would it be on the best sellers list, there had to be something in that book!

Then I finally took the plunge and read it start to finish, I simply couldn’t keep the book down! After reading the book, I found out that it’s being made into a movie, I couldn’t wait to watch the movie then, I know the book always is better than the movie, nevertheless I wanted to watch it just to see if its how I imagined it to be.

On Saturday, I went and watched the movie with my husband, It was very well made. Most of the important elements of the book were included and it was definitely directed well, although as a reader there were a few things which I felt the audience who haven’t read the book first might not feel how the readers felt.

I could easily feel the depth of all the characters in it since I’ve read it before.  The respect that Baba jan/ Agha sahib commands from his people probably didn’t come across so strongly as it made an impact in the book. The only time his character’s strength outshone was during the scene where he goes against the Russian soldier.

Hassan - the character who played his role was perfect, the moment you see him you just fall in love with his innocence, yet the depth of his love never came across on the screen. He didn’t just love Amir, he almost worshipped him in the book that too wasn’t as intense and the phrase “for you, a thousand times over” wasn’t emphasized as much as it was in the book.  Or maybe, it’s really just words that take your heart away.

Amir - the guilt, the fear, the love, the denial all his emotions which he felt after witnessing the unfortunate incident wasn’t as intense  in the movie.

Regardless of all these points due mainly to the time restriction , this movie moved me to tears, the scene when Amir goes to the orphanage just broke my heart.  The ending was beautifully directed……. it ended with the phrase which has made the book what it is.

For you, a thousand times over………….

Right, so after years of Racism being given the blind eye as if it never existed, all of a sudden, it is THE one thing that everyone is making a big hue and cry about. Especially with the whole Shilpa Shetty’s big brother controversy and the most recent controversy with Harbhajan Singh that has happened, all of a sudden the Indian inside awakens and doesn’t want to tolerate any kind of behavior that is insulting in terms of their race.

However, the irony remains that back home these very Indians are the ones that haven’t let go of their old school of thoughts. When it comes to classifying ‘people’ into different caste systems, the SAME people readily will do so and classify everybody in this utterly useless system which was built for no apparent reason. People are identified not by their merits but rather by their caste and of course the ’status’ that they hold in the society, which again was built by the SAME people!

Until now, intercaste marriages are still not welcomed into their families with open arms. To marry someone out of your own caste is frowned upon by these so called societies which were made by - u guessed it- the SAME people!

Every time there’s an announcement of a couple who is going out, about to get married etc the first thing people ask “Is he from the same community?” I mean Isn’t that being racist?

It’s a shame that in this day and age, the caste system still exists, sometimes even within the same community.

So the whole hoopla about racist comments and behavior, of course that shouldn’t happen but what I’d like to highlight in this post would be the case of “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones” - it’d be nice to have a reality check in their own country first.

It would be nice if they learn a lesson from whatever has happened in the past and unite as “Indians” and accept each other as “Indians” first, and feel the pride of being an Indian and fight against racism,  only then will the Indian inside truly awaken.

Rash